Music Says What Words Cannot

I have been surrounded for pretty much my entire life. In my mom's belly I listened to all the smart baby music, Mozart, Haydn, Beethoven, etc. After I was born I grew up listening to my sisters play piano and sing in school. I had my fair share of musical instruments myself. Not being a fan of violin, or piano, or flute, I decided instead to sing. Since elementary school and onward, I have been in choir every single year. At Penn State I joined the Oriana singers, the all-women singing group. However, what's special about this semester is we're joining forces with the Glee club (the all-boys group) and Concert Choir (the cream of the crop) to sing Brahms' German Requiem. The whole hour and ten minutes of it. Oh boy, Messiah's Hallelujah Chorus ain't got nothing on this monster.

A total of seven movements, Brahms' requiem was unique for his time. A requiem is a song for the dead, usually played during funerals or mass. Brahm's Requiem is indeed a song remembering the dead, but it is in most part comforting the living, and focusing on all of the emotions that comes with grief and loss, but also love and recovery - that everything will be ok. In the fifth movement of the requiem, a soprano sings a solo, and it almost makes me cry every time I hear it. Originally, the requiem was only three movements. Then he added another three to parallel his first three movements. Then, Brahm's lost his mother, and he wrote the fifth movement to remember her. He puts this movement in the middle of the requiem, where it stands alone with no other movement to partner with it. Roughly translated, the soprano sings, "when you are sad, I will comfort you," and then the chorus sings, "comfort me, as a mother would." Knowing the background on this movement, it drives to to tears, knowing that we are singing the pain of Brahm when he lost his mother.

Music is the only thing that makes me feel like this. How strong and how powerful it can be, while also being warm and gentle. Listening to music is one thing, singing and embodying it is a completely different thing. I think the reason why I never gave up choir was because I loved feeling all of these emotions. I love conveying these emotions and meanings to people that want to listen, and feel these emotions with me. When you hear a good piece of music, it sticks with you. For singing, it's no different. I've sung a lot of peaces over the course of eight or so years, but Brahms is going to stay with me for life.

If you're a fan of classical music or don't have anything to do this weekend, the Penn State School of Music will be performing the Brahms German Requiem at Eisenhower Auditorium at 7:30pm, Saturday April 14. Adult tickets are $20, and student tickets are $10. I really really really really really think if you want to listen you should do it in person. The feels get so real. But I understand the weekend is you-time, so we are also livestreaming the concert (the stream will go live an hour or so before the concert)! Come listen to a once-in-a-lifetime concert and support our school's music program!

Brahms has a great beard!

Spring's First Flowers - Blooming Near You!

Alright, so we're getting another wave of snow and huge gusts of wind. It might not feel like Spring, but the flowers are telling us otherwise. A few species of flowers have already begun to wake up, and I've been enjoying looking at them all come to life. Something about seeing this new life makes me super happy inside, and I encourage them to keep on growing and being beautiful while they last. More species will definitely pop up as spring progresses, but here are the few that have already arrived on our campus:

Snowdrops by Wikimedia 

These adorable flowers were the first ones to bloom, still with a layer of snow on the ground too! These small, white bell-shaped flowers are called Snowdrops - a very appropriate name. I know a lot of these grow in the mulch patches around the trees by Pollock Road. At first I thought these were a tiny white daffodils, but it turns out they weren't! This species of flower bloom during Winter, though I guess they had a bit of a late start due to all the snow we got from those snowstorms. Speaking of daffodils...

Daffodils from Pixino

I had these bright yellow flowers all over my neighborhood. I would always look forward spotting the new daffodils of the season and loved how much energy they gave to the green hills by my house. The ones in my town always bloomed rather late, around late spring or beginning of summer. I knew summer was coming close if I saw daffodils in my front yard. However, the ones on campus are blooming right now! There are a patch of them growing in front of the Paterno Library next to the mall. I guess they must be different species if they're blooming at such different times. Apparently some may even bloom in autumn. Personally I think daffodils aren't the greatest smelling flowers, but they sure do look great. 

Witch Hazel by Kristine Paulus

This one I've also never seen before at home. This flowering tree has little yellow flowers that cover its branches before it grows in its leaves. I don't remember where I saw this tree, but I'm sure it's around the Library... or maybe the HUB? Similar to the daffodil, some species of witch hazel bloom in the fall, or they can bloom in the spring like this one on campus does. I've only seen one or two of these trees, but perhaps there are more scattered about the campus. So far this has been the only tree to flower since the end of winter, but I'm sure more will follow suit as it gets warmer.

One last flower I'd like to mention is the Mountain Laurel. One, they're everywhere on campus, but they're dormant right now until the summer. Two, mountain laurels are Pennsylvania's state flower! These flowers are very thin and delicate, and also incredibly beautiful. They can range from reds, pinks, whites, and even purple in some species! I know flowers might be a bit of a lame topic to talk about to some people, but I appreciate the color and liveliness they give to a landscape. I'm done with the white, brown, and blues (thanks road salt) of winter, and I'm craving color! I do however give my condolences to those who suffer from  pollen allergies. May you live these last few days of clear air in peace. 

White Mountain Laurels

Another Squirrel Post, But With Less Death

In my previous squirrel-related blog post, I pondered the briefness and finality of life, but in this one you're not getting any of that, just squirrels. Penn State has a lot of them. I'm pretty sure all colleges have their own distinct population of squirrels, just as we do. Penn State even has a resident Instagram squirrel sensation, Sneezy the Penn State squirrel. Sneezy happens to be a very friendly squirrel who enjoys wearing hats. The first time I heard about Sneezy I was totally befuddled as to how someone could make a wild rodent pose for a picture and even wear clothing. The pictures are great, but I know that not all squirrels are as complacent or friendly as others.

I believe it was the first month or so into the fall semester I decided to eat outside of the HUB and enjoy the relatively cool air after it rained earlier that day. The chairs and tables were still wet, which meant no one would bother to eat outside, meaning I was by myself in relative peace. Not to far from my table was a girl who had a similar idea. She was working on her basket of fries when suddenly, a wild squirrel hopped onto the table and assaulted her food! I watched as this vicious little squirrel stole all of this poor girl's fries as she hopelessly stared at the squirrel with abandon, the rest of her lunch quickly reduced to nothing.

There is a reason why zoos, parks, and beaches post signs saying, 'do not feed the animals.' For one, it's a threat to their health if an irresponsible human feeds them something that their digestive system can't handle, and it also makes the animals dependent on human sources of food. This is where we see the rampant seagull and pigeon populations. We as a species have a very bad habit of letting ourselves succumb to the small pleasure of feeding an animal and making it into our friend. So much so, most zoos have a food-dispenser where you can put in a dollar's worth of coins then get a handful of food to feed whatever animal you please - fish, ducks, goats, so on. I went to a park in China that had this, where you paid a little bit of money then you get fish food in a bag, and you can feed the koi that lived in the pond. There were lots of little kids there with their parents, feeding the fish, then I realized how absolutely monstrously HUGE these fish were. One of the larger koi could probably swallow a kid. Feeding became so competitive that some koi were injured and scarring around their eyes and faces, where other fish mouths were gaping to steal some other fish's food. If you've never had your hand in a fish's mouth, I'll just tell you here that it's not a pleasant sensation. It's really weird. The noise these fish make with their mouths is also quite unsettling - like they're gasping and chugging for more food... feed me, feed me, feed me!



I don't think that there's anyone feeding the squirrels here on purpose, as they seem to get a lot of free food from the oak trees that grow on campus, as well as leftover food people drop on the floor or trashcans and compost bins. I'm usually quite friendly to the squirrels, giving them a "hello" every so often, then continue on my way. I think the squirrels here just want to mind their own business, but are opportunistic enough to take a free offering. I just hope that they never turn into those hungering koi. Glassy-eyed and constantly feeding...feeding...never ending feeding...

Snow And Its Different Flavors

It's officially spring, yet here we are with another snowstorm - Winter's last big hurrah for the season. Whilst walking around, grumbling about trudging through blue and grey goop, I realized that this last snow storm actually had different snow than the previous storms. Previous snows at Penn State have always been very light and powdery, but the snow from this week is sticky and firm, great for making snowmen, igloos, and snowballs. And so, as an homage to the last snow of the winter.... hopefully... here is an educational post on the surprising variety of snow!

Image from Pxhere

Powder snow is the soft, fluffy stuff that doesn't really stick together and it's fantastic for skiing and sledding due to what little friction it has. It falls apart easily in your hands, which is why if you try to make anything out of this stuff it just flies away! Personally, I think this snow smells the best (see my smelling post here). It has the freshest and crispiest smell out of all the snows, since the ice particles that make powdery snow aren't big enough to latch onto anything. It's also really fun to play with, despite not being able to make anything with it. It's the best snow to throw up into the air and dance around in, though I don't suggest breathing through your mouth while it's snowing powdery snow. It gets rather unpleasant breathing in frozen tidbits of ice. 

Crud snow is the sticky, malleable snow. It has larger clumps of flakes stuck together and is able to form firmer snow. This is good building snow, and usually gives a 'crunch' noise when stepping in it. I like to play in this snow the most. I have very fond memories having snowball fights with my siblings and making little snowmen families. Crud is probably the worst snow to shovel off your driveway though, since it's one of the heaviest types of snows due to its density. It also tends to stick to clothes and fabric by latching onto the fibers then freezing to them. Apparently crud falls more commonly closer to spring than powder snow does, as the warmer temperature fluctuates with the freezing wind, it causes the water in the atmosphere to melt and freeze, causing the larger snow particles and flakes.

Slush is the half-frozen, half-melted stuff on the side of the road everyone avoids. It's usually a gross color and smells bad because of the runoff it absorbs. Even though it's unappealing and a bit of a hassle to walk in, I don't think it's that bad. I actually find it rather fun to squish my boots in it. If it weren't for the negative association with exhaust fluids and salty residues, slush wouldn't be so underrated.



Crust is the self-explanatory hard crust of snow that forms when the top layer of it melts then freezes over. Occasionally after several days of snow, I'll see a snow lasagna - where several crusts have formed and I can see all the layers where the snow has melted then freezes over again. It's sort of like viewing layers of rock, only instead you're viewing layers of snow. If you're lucky, you can even see layers of color, where slush froze over or where some colored salt has hit. Unfortunately, most times it's rather white and not much to look at. Nonetheless, it's still very interesting.

Another type of snow I'd like to mention is something called "snirt". And yeah, it is what you think it is: snow + dirt... snirt. I just found this hilarious and wanted to share how creative humans are at naming things.

Now you snow there is actually a lot more to snow than you thought! I know by now you're probably sick of snow, but when it's gone you're going to miss it! So enjoy it while it lasts, because Spring is finally here! I'm ready for flowers!

When The Lights Go Out

Photo by Max Pixel

Penn State has finally breached into March, starting the month with a well-needed spring break. Alas, I will not be catching a break this week... A terrible snow storm split a nearby tree in two, falling on top of a power line. Currently, I am writing this post while my house has no internet, power, heating, running water, or electricity, and I am making Wegmans my temporary base of operations. I woke up this morning desperately wanting to stay in bed and savor the warmth my body built up overnight, but then I realized I probably need to use the bathroom and eat food eventually. The good thing about Wegmans is probably the fact they have a microwave in their seating area. We managed to sneak our leftovers in and eat a proper breakfast without having to buy anything (because with no power, your refrigerator tends not to work). With full bellies, empty bowels, and an internet connection, my family and I are now relaxing, doing our work, and snacking on some sweets- I mean, brain-powering snacks. 

This wasn't the first year I had to deal with four or more days without power - actually it usually happens once every year or so. Whenever we get a bad snowstorm, a tree falls over and cuts off our power. When we first experienced this, we had a solid week and a half of nothing. It was then I told my mom about the beauty of backup generators, but due to the storm, their prices skyrocketed. So we put it off still next year... obviously we never made that investment, because five years later we're at Wegmans with no power at home. Meanwhile, our neighbors are enjoying themselves in their lit homes and we have to live with listening to the rumbling of their generators, taunting us. Then again, I also suggested to get a snowblower too... but anyway, back to the power outage. 

Wegmans is a grocery store with free internet, a hot bar, and pub

On the car ride to Wegmans, my brother and I were complaining about how poor the infrastructure is in our country, planing trees right under power lines and not expecting something bad to happen, or not pruning trees down so they don't block power lines, or not removing fallen trees until the next week... Living in a neighborhood with few residents tends to get you the short end of the stick when it comes to getting stuff fixed.  It will usually take anywhere from 4-7 days just to remove a single tree and repair the damaged power line where I live out in semi-rural land, but all of my friends living in nice suburban areas would get their power restored overnight. Overnight. If we had to give our country a grade, America gets a "D+" in infrastructure (that's not a passing grade, by the way). I'm not going to go into the politics of why this is, but let this be some food for thought.

We might be brushing our teeth in public restrooms, and we may be warming up leftovers in the food court microwave, but at least we're having a good time. My brother sits across from me studying for SATs and doing java script homework for his programming class, and my mom is reading the bible (as it is Sunday, and she is dedicated in her faith). We might be deprived of some luxuries, but in exchange we're getting some pretty nice family time, and that makes everything feel better. There's a really warm and fuzzy feeling that comes from watching my family - whether it's helping my brother with his algebra, or talking about college, or making jokes together. My family usually just does their own thing, but when we come together like this, I really enjoy it. My spring break might not be the most comfortable, but I have my family to make up for it. 

The Shortest Bus Ride

Picture from Wikimedia Commons

In the slew of cold, cloudy days, there was finally a day of warm weather and clear skies. My roommate and I decided to take advantage of the fabulous weather last Tuesday and decided to go on an adventure to Petco (just to see some cute animals, not to buy anything). I discovered there was a Trader Joe's not to far from the Petco, so we not only made it a Petco adventure, but also a grocery shopping adventure. My roommate and I most definitely went overboard on the groceries, both of us carrying two heavy paper bags filled with food items. It was difficult enough hauling our hoard of food out of the store, but it was even more so carrying our bags back to the bus stop! When we arrived at our stop, down the hill at the end of the road, we saw our bus was parked sitting next to a Sheetz. It had not started its route yet. So, we figured we could board early just so we can sit down and let our tired arms rest. However, when arriving at the bus, we found it was missing a driver... He was eating at the Sheetz. Disappointed and even more tired than before, we began to trod our way back up the hill to the bus stop.

Then, like a glorious mechanical angel, another bus stopped by and opened its doors. It's driver called our to us, "I can give you two a lift!" Being oblivious to what he was suggesting, I told him that we needed to go back to campus and our bus is down there. He laughed and told us he was watching us struggle with our bags and knew our bus wasn't going to start its route for another fifteen minutes, then he offered us to drop us off at the bus stop so we could wait there. We joyfully hoped on and relished our free bus ride up the hill. The stop probably wasn't even a block's distance away, but we really appreciated that bus driver for saving us some struggle and for being so gosh darn nice! We got home just fine that day, and to this day I still think that driver is one of the nicest men I've ever met.

It's little acts of kindness like this that I think makes life so good. Just like how one bad thing can ruin your day, something really small but good can make someone's day just that much better, and I think it's great. I honestly believe if more people did nice things for other, we wouldn't be nearly as depressed, angry, or anxious. Going out of our way to do something for others doesn't unnoticed. That person will appreciate it, and both parties feel good about it. Positive feelings don't only go a long way, but it travels, too. Making someone else feel good makes them want to make someone else feel good, and so on, and so on. Even if we don't do anything grand or spectacular, or gain mass fame and recognition, those little things we do for others makes us feel more fulfilled. It's the reason why I made this blog in the first place - to appreciate those little things and to let others know they can experience similar feelings too, wherever they are.

Love is for Everyone

Valentine's Day

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! As much as I'd like to join everyone in the celebration of love and affection, unfortunately I am committed to a long-distance relationship, so giving my boyfriend roses and chocolates isn't really a feasible thing for me. There is a lot of flak towards long-distance relationships that I find pretty unsettling. I know they don't work all the time and it's very hard and demanding on the persons involved, but a lot of dedication and trust goes into long-distance, which is why I think they deserve a bit more credit than they get.

Personal tangent aside, I want to talk about what Valentines day means to me personally. I think it's a bit silly we have a day dedicated to loving others... when that should just be a thing you do every day. Sure, it's a good excuse to do something special, but that's what birthdays and anniversaries are for! Plus, it's not like we get this holiday off, so having valentines day on a weekday sure does suck for the busy working couple (though I suppose it'd be the responsibility of the couple to plan things ahead of time, but not everyone plans things ahead). Plus, the chocolate and flower-making industry loves to cash in on this day and shove romantic tid-bits down your throat for double or triple the normal price (or for "sale"). I think, if you really wanted to do something special for someone you care about, skip the flowers and cheap chocolate and go for something that means a lot to that person (but if your boo really likes flowers and chocolate then by all means give them flowers and chocolate - just make sure it's quality chocolate).

Chocolates and Roses

Though lovers tend to get the spotlight on Valentine's Day, I want to emphasize that this is a day for everyone to get love. For all you single people out there, tell a family member or friend you care about them. That'll make their day, I'm sure of it. If you got a pet, treat them today! If you have a room mate, throw 'em some love! Valentine's Day should not be limited to lovers and couples. It should be a day to express love and affection for anyone and anything, even yourself. There's been a rising trend of "table for one" or "me dates", for the single people going out by themselves. It's awkward sitting and eating alone when everyone else has friends or a significant other with them. However, I think the more we encourage loners it's ok to do things by yourself - without the social pressure of being around people all the time - we'll become more comfortable with being alone with our thoughts, and appreciating ourselves. 

Even though I won't get to spend this Valentine's Day with my boyfriend, I'll still have the memories I have being with him, how it felt to hold hands with him, to hug and snuggle and laugh with him. I want everyone to remember what it feels like to be love. I want you to treasure it. Whether it's getting your first kiss from your boyfriend or girlfriend, getting that big warm hug from your mom or dad, or playing with your dog or cat after a long day. Everyone has love, and that is a beautiful thing.