Another Squirrel Post, But With Less Death

In my previous squirrel-related blog post, I pondered the briefness and finality of life, but in this one you're not getting any of that, just squirrels. Penn State has a lot of them. I'm pretty sure all colleges have their own distinct population of squirrels, just as we do. Penn State even has a resident Instagram squirrel sensation, Sneezy the Penn State squirrel. Sneezy happens to be a very friendly squirrel who enjoys wearing hats. The first time I heard about Sneezy I was totally befuddled as to how someone could make a wild rodent pose for a picture and even wear clothing. The pictures are great, but I know that not all squirrels are as complacent or friendly as others.

I believe it was the first month or so into the fall semester I decided to eat outside of the HUB and enjoy the relatively cool air after it rained earlier that day. The chairs and tables were still wet, which meant no one would bother to eat outside, meaning I was by myself in relative peace. Not to far from my table was a girl who had a similar idea. She was working on her basket of fries when suddenly, a wild squirrel hopped onto the table and assaulted her food! I watched as this vicious little squirrel stole all of this poor girl's fries as she hopelessly stared at the squirrel with abandon, the rest of her lunch quickly reduced to nothing.

There is a reason why zoos, parks, and beaches post signs saying, 'do not feed the animals.' For one, it's a threat to their health if an irresponsible human feeds them something that their digestive system can't handle, and it also makes the animals dependent on human sources of food. This is where we see the rampant seagull and pigeon populations. We as a species have a very bad habit of letting ourselves succumb to the small pleasure of feeding an animal and making it into our friend. So much so, most zoos have a food-dispenser where you can put in a dollar's worth of coins then get a handful of food to feed whatever animal you please - fish, ducks, goats, so on. I went to a park in China that had this, where you paid a little bit of money then you get fish food in a bag, and you can feed the koi that lived in the pond. There were lots of little kids there with their parents, feeding the fish, then I realized how absolutely monstrously HUGE these fish were. One of the larger koi could probably swallow a kid. Feeding became so competitive that some koi were injured and scarring around their eyes and faces, where other fish mouths were gaping to steal some other fish's food. If you've never had your hand in a fish's mouth, I'll just tell you here that it's not a pleasant sensation. It's really weird. The noise these fish make with their mouths is also quite unsettling - like they're gasping and chugging for more food... feed me, feed me, feed me!



I don't think that there's anyone feeding the squirrels here on purpose, as they seem to get a lot of free food from the oak trees that grow on campus, as well as leftover food people drop on the floor or trashcans and compost bins. I'm usually quite friendly to the squirrels, giving them a "hello" every so often, then continue on my way. I think the squirrels here just want to mind their own business, but are opportunistic enough to take a free offering. I just hope that they never turn into those hungering koi. Glassy-eyed and constantly feeding...feeding...never ending feeding...